You have always accepted the conventional explanation that the "Paul is dead" theory was a hoax. Jimmy Olsen does not. That is why Jimmy Olsen is Superman's pal and has time-travel adventures and dates a foxy stewardess, whereas last night you debated whether the five-day-old Chinese food in your fridge is still good, decided it probably wasn't, but then ate it anyway.
All men are chumps before Jimmy Olsen.
(Looking forward to the fake JO covers y'all are gonna come up with, dudes.)